An i-bankers survival guide part 3

2 responses

  1. Alpha says:

    I don’t think the first two people have meet too many investment bankers – I couldn’t imagine ever seeing a garage sale in Rosedale or someone actually washing their car in Forest Hill. And cutting out booze – that is the stuff that is going to fuel these guys (and girls) through the downturn.

    My suggestions:

    1) Time to start taking more inventory from the wine cellar instead of filling it. You have $50,000 to $100,000 in idle wine inventory, no better time to start drawing from it.

    2) Actually cash in those Airmile points (as stated in the first post). I know i-bankers who put everything on their CIBC Aeroplan credit card, but have never used a single point. They have trillions of points, but treat them more as an accumulation of pseudo-wealth (and a bragging point).

    3) Shine your own shoes. When I was in the industry, every week the shoe shine guys would come into the office and guys would spend $6-7 dollar on a professional spit and polish. I can understand for the one guy wearing the Gucci loafers, but most guys where reasonably priced that can easily be buffed with one of those sponges.

    4) Stay away from the trading desk. Traders are notorious gamblers and they’re always looking for someone to either bet against or unload some (i.e. partially hedge) one the larger bets they’ve entered into. And there’s no better person to go against but a i-banker wondering through the trading floor. No i-banker will ever be as informed on sports, current events or other general useless information as a good trader (they have more time on their hands and a Bloomberg terminal always at their disposal). Put your vanity away and don’t enter into a bet you’re surely going to lose.

    5) Remember that quality foods doesn’t only come from Pusateri’s or Whole Foods. Only go to the upscale supermarket for the hard-to-find stuff, leave the other stuff for Loblaws or Sobeys.

  2. Mark McQueen says:


    You are right about Howard. He is very thrifty by nature and his ideas aren’t very relevant to i-bankers per se. Still good advice for their groundskeepers, though.

    But the 2nd fellow actually works at an investment bank – as an equity research analyst that is. With the compliance walls that exist at his place, he’s probably not allowed to meet any i-bankers anymore, either.


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